How can I make these injuries about me today
The whole point of spring training is to not have to sweat it out unless you’re there. Injuries to Kevan Smith and Jose Abreu today added to the long list of exhibition injuries this month, the only bright spot being possibly getting all this out of the way for the baseball gods before the games really count (since they’ve been so kind to us this last decade). Chalk most of it up to fluke, and thank your lucky stars it isn’t throwing off the timeline yet. The injury bug did hang around rent free in Glendale, though- let’s try to make some sense of it by comparing it to other tough breaks we’ve been through (and by that I mean “categorizing it by parts of Netflix shows that really bummed us out”).
Jake Burger: Ruptured Achilles Tendon
Feels like: It’s Requiem For A Dream and Harry’s rolled up his sleeve
Curls 4 The Gurls
(I actually don’t know if this is on Netflix or not, but there’s never been a more sure-fire film to lose out to Family Guy every time)
Jake certainly won’t have the same fate with his injury as our heroin addicted D.A.R.E. protagonist (spoiler: bad drugs are still bad). This probably is, though, the worst of the bunch from this spring: Achilles injuries are that much tougher to come back from not matter how you slice it (phrasing!). Development-wise, unless this is bound to be serious, recurring, and the career kiss of death, it’s for now just a trajectory starting a year later than expected. Burger doesn’t have the chip on his shoulder Moncada, Kopech etc. do, making this not as big a setback as it could be.
But… man, Achilles injuries really just rub me the wrong way. Takes a full year of experience away early and takes a lot of the purpose out of third base this season. As it stands, the hot corner is now essentially Saladino’s one last tryout before arbitration and additions to the sample size of justifying Davidson as a pure DH. It’ll take up space that could’ve been a late season call up for him (I’m probably a little too optimistic here), and will probably just be the hitch where every other position has some sort of developmental purpose. And Harry can tell you what cutting dead weight’s like…
Eloy Jimenez: Sore left knee
Feels like: Something bad happened to the Griffin family and we have to wait four minutes for the plot change
Why is Herm not funding this?!
I honestly forgot this even happened in the midst of what I thought was a pretty early demotion from spring training. Assume if I haven’t heard anything this is just aches and pains of playing major league ball for the first time. Also, remember when Family Guy WAS On Netflix? Pepperidge Farm ah forget it they're not bringing it back.
Luis Robert: Sprained left thumb
Feels like: It’s House of Cards and Zoe’s taking the Metro
What have u heard about Bryce Harper to the Cubs
Didn’t see this one coming. Prized prospect signing from last year done until June, with some progressive baseball activities in between. A “shit happens” injury but a huge bummer nonetheless, especially for what I’m sure playing against major leaguers did for his enthusiasm. Assume it’ll be pretty quick to the minors when he does get back, and I wouldn’t be opposed to a September call up just for the hell of it. (Says the guy who didn’t want Moncada called up last year at all. This is why I just blog about these things).
Micker Adolfo: Strained flexor tendon
Feels like: It’s Black Mirror and the technology’s starting to take a turn
I kept my phone on during long toss
At 21, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to make of this. We’ve bought pitching prospects in bulk and he wasn’t the regular in conversation that others are. This is coming after a fractured fibula, which doesn’t make me too optimistic with two big injuries this young. At this point I guess we hear about him later or we don’t. The future is bright (glass shatters).
Nicky Delmonico: Partial shoulder separation
Feels like: Eleven beats the monster in Stranger Things but there’s still four seasons left
It's this or a trade to Miami
Definitely the weirdest- any injury with a range of “could miss a few days” to “could be out for the season” is always going to be skeptical when it actually doesn’t wind up being too serious. Nicky’s hellbent on making a name for himself before the outfield gets a lot more crowded soon, but gutting out a more serious injury in the still tanking portion of the franchise is the sort of risky career move that I don’t want to see someone I’m generally high on taking.
Alec Hansen: Right forearm soreness
Feels like: It’s BoJack Horseman and some sort of bender is starting
Did Shields start today?
The road to pitching hell is paved with good intentions, and general soreness. This’d be my trigger warning even when I know it’s just getting back into the swing of things. Actually qualified herm Schneider probably just gave this some R & R. This paranoid blogger? It gets easier every day. But you gotta do it every day. That’s the hard part…
Tyler Saladino: Concussion
Feels like: I’ve watched the Blackhawks without Corey Crawford for months
I forgot to pod nap at Google during The Internship and now I never will
For sure not on Netflix, but we’re down two to Colorado as I’m wrapping this up and that bums me out. Also, concussions apparently happen in baseball post-not being able to make contact with the catcher. I don’t think a week off is going to make or break his upcoming last ditch effort.
Kevan Smith: Sprained ankle
Feels like: Sense 8 is becoming a movie or will officially be gone forever
I've never actually watched this show and am part of the problem
A halfway decent catcher will make it so much easier to keep up with this site.
Jose Abreu: Hamstring soreness
Feels like: All my favorite shows keep getting pulled from Netflix but The Office still remains
When u start your ballpark food season with the helmet nachos
Because I don’t want to worry about something until I HAVE to start worrying about something. I’m not super-stitious, but…
Hopefully a couple more things posted here before season starts. For now, stretch out and watch your step.